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4 days before my birthday. and 8 months since I've been happy.

I lost... everything that I needed in life, over 8 months ago. Everything that made me happy. My entire life.

And I'm not even a thought on her mind.  

I should hate you. I should have hated you months ago. Treating me like garbage, leaving me for someone else. Throwing me away, like I treated you bad. 

I should hate you with every, single fiber of my being. And yet... I still can't. 

Honestly? I know you never gave a shit about me. I was your rebound, until you found what you wanted. You have no guts, no self respect... and most of all no loyalty. I know in the end... my life will be much happier than yours, because at least I can keep my word. But you? You're weak, scared, and a coward. I'm the loser for still being like this, so many months later. Through doctors and sickness and all of it, you were still the only thing on my mind. And everyday, I'm crushed all over again, with the thought that the one that I would give the world, and my soul to, hates me. 

Yet, I still love you. With everything I've got.

If I have one wish for my birthday, it's to have you erased. Even the memory of you, haunts me every single day, in everything I do. That's the scar you left on me. Thats the chip I'll wear on my shoulder for the rest of my life. And through all of it? I'd still take you back.

I'd still give everything I could to you, the undeserving one. 

I guess that makes me the pathetic one, huh? 




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